


What they say of Dread Pirate Roberts

by DeadlyWeiss



Category: Princess Bride (1987)
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:20:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25389688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadlyWeiss/pseuds/DeadlyWeiss
Summary: Westley had assured him it would be easy enough — pick his seedy place of choice, exchange stories about Dread Pirate Roberts with the people there, and watch his reputation as the most fearsome pirate alive continue to spread on its own.
Relationships: Fezzik/Inigo Montoya
Comments: 9
Kudos: 30
Collections: Rare Male Slash Exchange 2020





	What they say of Dread Pirate Roberts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Missy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/gifts).



Through the years, the Crow’s Nest had earned a reputation as the dwelling of some of the worst people in its side of the Atlantic — from smugglers to assassins, pirates, and occasionally even those who weren’t quite outlaws but were still on the run due to their circumstances, it was also widely accepted that as long as someone had enough coin and legality wasn’t much of a concern, the small, rather rundown inn was just about the best place to acquire both goods and information.

Which is exactly why Inigo had ended up there the first time, back when he’d have traveled to Hell itself it meant finding the identity of his father’s killer, and how he had made himself enough of a regular that when he approached the counter, the innkeeper still remembered him well enough to greet him by name.

“If it isn’t Inigo Montoya! That’s one face I haven’t seen in a while.” The innkeeper apparently also remembered his fondness for drinking, because he found himself with a beer in his hand without even having to ask for one. “I thought you might be dead by now.”

“Hardly, my friend! Mercenary work has kept me busy.”

“Are you still looking for that six fingered man?”

He shook his head.

“That man is no longer in this world.”

“Cheers to that! Then, what brings you here?”

“For the Dread Pirate Roberts.”

Inigo knew for a fact that he wasn’t the first person to come to the Crow’s Nest asking for the pirate, so the innkeeper hadn’t been taken by surprise by his answer. He did, however, have a good amount of sense of self-preservation left, so it made him pause all the same.

Which was all the permission Inigo needed, really.

With one swift move, he jumped on top of a stool, then on the counter, and finally, he rested his free hand on top of his sword in case any of the people that had been eating there decides to try and object with more than words.

“Hey, be careful with the furniture!”

By that point Inigo had, quite frankly, stopped listening to the innkeeper, but since he could guess that innkeeper was saying something to the effect of how he’d be sorry if he messed up the wood, Inigo dismissed him with a wave of his hand.

“Listen, everyone! I came here to hear what you’ve got to say about the Dread Pirate Roberts. Ten gold coins to the man or woman who can tell me the best story!”

Unsurprisingly, the prospect of receiving a large payment for basically no work quickly made everyone present go from being irritated at Inigo for suddenly demanding their attention, to being very much interested in what he had to say, and it wasn’t long before a crowd formed around him. Still, hardly anyone managed to get more than a few words in — attempts of talking about things they all had heard before or found boring were quickly shut down by booing and complaining and, in the case of the really stubborn, empty glasses flying in their direction.

Things were getting quite rowdy, and Inigo was already considering leaving for the sake of not having to drunkenly fight his way out of a room full of equally drunk people, when a man at the back seemed to say something that instead of making everyone who heard it angry, it made them turn around to stare at him in silence for long enough to give Inigo the opportunity to call him over.

“My good man, what is it that you were saying?”

“We all have heard that Robert’s newest first mate is a fearsome giant, capable of crushing a man’s skull with one hand. But what most people don’t know is that the giant is actually Robert’s husband.”

Inigo almost chocked on his beer.

“It happened a couple of months ago. I was hired to be part of a crew that would help a merchant move their product all the way to Portugal, through a route known for being infested with pirates.” The man made his way to the front as he spoke, until he was at Inigo’s side. “Under normal circumstances we could have gotten away, but there was a heavy storm coming, and we soon found ourselves trapped between it and Roberts’ ship… ”

***

Fezzik had been considerate enough to hold back his laughter while Inigo recounted the story of what had happened back at the inn — more to allow him the moment of passionate indignity than anything else, really, since Inigo knew that Fezzik would never mock him with as much certainty as Fezzik knew that Inigo enjoyed the way his laugh rumbled through the captain’s cabin.

“It’s not funny.”

“It is, when you paid money.” Fezzik moved aside to make room for him on the bed. “Is it so bad that people know?”

“No! If it were up to me, I would shout it to the seven seas!” The bed, already rather strained under Fezzik’s weight, creaked when he got on it. “But the Dread Pirate Roberts isn’t about _love_.”

“Maybe Roberts could use a different approach.”

“Like?”

“Hmh... I heard that Roberts' husband killed a man for being a flirt.”

It took a moment for everything to click, but once Inigo realized where things were headed, it brought a smile to his face.

“I heard that, too. Snapped him like a twig.”

“Of course he’d marry someone so scary.”

“And yet, they’re quite merry.”

The more they talked, the clearer the picture became in Inigo’s head. Stories of Roberts and his husband against the world, tales of the many exploits that they barely managed survive due to the astonishing combination of swordsmanship and strength. And every person would have their own version of how they met, too, because everyone would be curious about the man that could not only keep up with Roberts, but could do so in a way that had made the pirate decide he wanted them to spend their lives together.

Not that he was the type to want to hear about himself endlessly — but he loved adventure, and he loved Fezzik, and thinking about what people would say about them meant thinking about all the things the future had in store for them.

"Inigo?”

“Sorry, Fezzik. What was the word?”

“You should go to sleep.”

“I will start counting sheep.”


End file.
